culture shock, maybe.

dang what a country. I don't really know what to say about it because going into details would be bound to overlook something and I'm not really able to catch the essence of this country anyways. Not yet maybe. I'll let random thoughts carry to where they might.

- everything in transition. development. chaos. people. business. land. progress isn't the word, but something's stirring.

- air conditioning keeps me barely sane. intermittent internet = -10% sanity

- "bia hoi (beer) is an integral part of the curriculum" - UC HANU 09 Facebook page. Facebook is also a part of the curriculum, as it seems that everyone has it here. The teachers also ask that we post our assignments on their wall for them. Paper is precious and to print would be asking too much!

- bargaining my head off on a very small vocab with ladies that can easily rip someone else off

- i miss proper english teachers so freakin much. hahaha this lady had this french-english-viet hybrid that neither the viet nor the UC students understood. what the heck was she saying? xDD

- cravings for chocolate. if i could replace the oil in my food with chocolate, i would be drowning in a sea of chocolate. Then i would be a very happy person. As it is, i'm drowning in a sea of oil. hahaha

- diahrrea, constipation, period, herbal medicine, tiger balm, squatter toilets, and a lack of toilet paper; it's all here and it's all an endless cycle.

- hoa qua dam and sua chua. yummmmm

- beauty, beauty, everywhere and not a comfortable spot to see it from.

i think i actually have fallen into depression and the whole culture shock thing that they warned us about. I wouldn't say i hate it here, but I don't enjoy it. i'm not happy to do anything, i'm not happy to do nothing. if i could, i would reverse it all, stay in the comfort of my homeland, America. but freakin, this is also my homeland. I know vietnamese and i can't understand a freakin word these people are saying. They in return, don't understand anything pouring out my mouth, but not much of a surprise. They treat me like a foreigner, some mock, some scorn, some take advantage of. The kind ones, the ones i leech to, i feel bad to be a burden. So i retreat, to the intermittent internet where connections to America and a past life of ease awaits. And all the while, i try to reflect on the beauty of this place; Vietnam's truly a marvel of innocence, caught in development and it's obvious that modernization is tearing it apart. I wish i could help it, really really reallyyy. Maybe that's where the NGO assignment comes in, although that can't be done without friends, and those can't be made without uplifting this smothering blanket of depression.